Friday, July 24, 2009

Bulletin Bloopers

Ah the difference one little word or letter can make in the meaning of a sentence! And what happens when we don't think about context in our writing? Take a look and find out. :)

1. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

2. Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

3. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

4. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

5. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

6. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

7. The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7:00 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

8. The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. (This one's for Gullible. :))

9. Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

10. The Associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday - "I upped my pledge - up yours!"

11. A song fest was hell at the Methodist Church Wednesday.

12. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

13. The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

14. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

15. The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

16. The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

17. Ushers will eat latecomers.

18. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to Church secretary.

19. 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some of the older ones.

20. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say, "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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  1. What a riot! Good find, Lynnette!

  2. These are great; I read them out loud to my husband.
    The last one is so funny "Say "hell" so someone who doesn't care much about you.

  3. I've seen some of these before, but I still laughed out loud at them. Funny stuff!

  4. These are great! I love numbers 3 and 6 particularly!