Friday, May 28, 2010

The Perils of Sing-Song Names

I couldn't resist this lesson in choosing character names. I'm serious here. Really. Use care when naming the folks who populate your stories or your masterpiece may become just a bad joke . . .


A Shaggy Frog story.


A frog goes into a bank and
approaches the teller. He
can see from her nameplate
that her name is Patricia
Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get
a $30,000 loan to take a
holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in
disbelief and asks his name.
The frog says his name is
Kermit Jagger, his dad is
Mick Jagger, and that it's
okay, he knows the bank
manager.

Patty explains that he will
need to secure the loan with
some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have
this," and produces a tiny
porcelain elephant, about an
inch tall, bright pink and
perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains
that she'll have to consult
with the bank manager and
disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and
says, "There's a frog called
Kermit Jagger out there who
claims to know you and wants
to borrow $30,000, and he
wants to use this as
collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink
elephant. "I mean, what in
the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back
at her and says:

"It's a knickknack,
Patty Whack.
Give the frog a loan,
His old man's a Rolling Stone."


(You're singing it, aren't you?
Yeah, I know you are..)
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