Most writers love puns, the more convoluted the better (a few unfortunate scribes don't enjoy them; we shall not speak of them). So here's an oldie but one of the best:
There once was scientist who’d extended the lifespan of some dolphins. but to keep his experiment private he kept them in his home swimming pool. After many years of trial and error, he'd succeeded to such a point the animals would never die. Unfortunately the secret ingredient for the formula–which the dolphins had to ingest each day to keep them alive–came from the necks of baby seagulls. Worse, because of the freshness issue, the scientist found he had to kill the birds and put the glands in the formula while they were only seconds old. This required him bringing the seagulls onto his property every day while they were still living.
Knowing full well he’d get in trouble with the ASPCA if he was caught, he decided to buy a lion–a tame but very regal beast–from a traveling circus, and use it to scare away snoopers.
Early one morning he stepped onto his porch with a small paper sack clutched tightly in his hand. In it was a freshly-caught bird, struggling valiantly for life. But as he came up on his steps, he found the lion asleep across his doorway. He stepped over it, and immediately was arrested. The charge?
Taking a young gull across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
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