Here is a mental checklist I use when revising my work or someone else's:
Check for head-hopping. The writer must remain in the same POV until indicating in some way that they will be changing (insert a wingding or start a new chapter). Please don’t make your reader dizzy by hopping from the thoughts of one character to another. When in a certain POV, write only what that character would do, say, think, observe.
Only write what the POV character can sense. The POV character shouldn’t give a physical description of herself/himself.
For example: Her cheeks reddened.
The POV character can’t see this.
Better: Heat rushed up her neck and into her cheeks.
Get rid of telling words and just say it. Even in a POV character’s internal thoughts, she/he wouldn’t think the words thought, felt.
For example: She thought he might be tired. He supposed she needed time to herself.
Better: He might be tired. She needed time to herself.
Show in order of occurrence.
For example: She shuddered after the knock at the door and wondered at answering.
Better: A knock on the door jolted her. She shuddered. Was it safe to answer?
Climb into the POV character's head. How would the POV character really be thinking? Would the character use internal questions?
For example: He wondered if he should open the door.
Better: Should he open the door?
Show emotion; don’t name it.
For example: She was mad.
Better: She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists.
DPOV is a skill in progress. Keep working to give the reader that close-up experience with your POV character.
Some resources that have helped me personally are The Emotion Thesaurus by Ackerman and Puglisi and Rivet Your Readers With Deep Point of View by Jill Elizabeth Nelson.
Paula Mowery is a pastor’s wife and former homeschool mom. She has always been an avid reader of Christian fiction. She began writing in the area of nonfiction creating three Bible studies which were self-published. However, she crafted fiction stories which she shared with friends and family. When one of her readers encouraged her to pursue publication, she joined American Christian Fiction Writers, learning more about the world of fiction. Her debut work of fiction is a novella published by Harbourlight, a division of Pelican Book Group – THE BLESSING SEER. She is also an acquiring editor for Prism Book Group.
Learn more about Paula at her blog – www.paulamowery.blogspot.com
Read more of her writing in her monthly columns onwww.christianonlinemagazine.com.
A good word about Paula's newest release: Be The Blessing~~~
"We all wonder why bad things happen to good people. Can God use even the worst events in our lives to help us feed the world around us?Be the Blessing skillfully provides both food for thought and food for discussion." -- Lisa Wingate, national best-selling author of The Sea Glass Sisters and The Prayer Box.
Blurb: Addy Townsend hadn’t strolled with Conrad or had a vision in five years. Now Conrad has returned to challenge her to be a blessing to those around her. The Holy Spirit begins to nudge her into service in new ways and she follows. But when she is blindsided with personal problems, can Addy learn to be a willing vessel even in times of struggle and suffering?